A little bit of Turkish

Is a Dangerous thing !

Eric Morecombe famously said , when told by Andre Previn that he was playing the wrong notes. ‘I am playing the right notes but not necessarily in the right order.’

Let me start at the beginning. I have a dog - Lucy, . You might have seen her around. White with brown patches, matches my curtains that’s why I chose her, big feet, nice eyes. Very clever, bit naughty and a slight tendency to bark at passing folk. She likes to sit outside my gate and see off marauding cars , scooters etc. She means well and wouldn’t hurt a fly really, but I have had to occasionally extract visitors from bushes and behind trees. That’s why when my neighbour called to me and said ‘Lucy’, I assumed the worst. I know a bit of Turkish, I discovered early on that ‘hiyar’ means small cucumber and is not to be said to boat captains, you say ‘hayir’ to mean ‘No’, so I get by. I got her gist. “Lucy”, “kopek” (dog) , “cocuk” ( child) with asthma ( choking mime holding throat) , with pregnant mother ( round belly mime) and the beladiye ( the council) Oh no! Lucy had frightened a child who had had an asthma attack and its pregnant mother had complained to the authorities. Lanet Olsen (B….y hell).

I resolved to keep Lucy locked up, and tried to explain that. But the reference to the Beladiye worried me. So when My friend Begum called, I seized the chance to go round and find out what the outcome of the complaint was. Would they remove lucy, take her into care ?

Begum told my neighbour about my concern, great expositions and worried protestations resulted, then begum started to laugh. I had got the right words , but they were definitely not in the right order. There had been a doggie friend of Lucy’s round, a pregnant dog, a dog whose collar was too tight and she was in danger of choking. The neighbour was thinking of asking the Beladiye to catch it to help it, but on seeing me had tried to enlist my help. No pregnant mum, no choking child, definitely no complaint. Oops , took me ages to explain to Lucy why she was tied to my balcony railings for so long. penny b