Obviously whoever said that had never been on a charter flight for 4 ½ hours.
I cannot understand how the airline concluded that the average passenger is about 12inches wide and doesn’t have any legs. That’s who the seats appear to be designed for. Then when you have wedged yourself into the strangely inhumanly shaped seat you have to endure Jonathon Woss or somebody warbling on about avoiding the sun and foweign food. Didn’t anyone tell them we are flying to Turkey ?
You now have to pay extra for a meal that my cats wouldn’t eat, and they eat anything. You have to specifically say you don’t want the meal, to avoid being charged extra. And of course there are now other extra s - drinks, earphones, scratch cards (why do you need a card to scratch with ?), seats by the exits, the normal luggage allowance, airport taxes , fuel supplements,, airport fuel tax supplements, tips for the pilot and crew, lifejackets etc etc . all provided at extra cost because .. ‘ we are dedicated to helping you enjoy your holiday’ Yeah.
I assume they are working on the premise that the passengers are so enraptured with the treats ahead they will put up with anything. To be fair that may be true. On most flights a large proportion are would-be Shirley Valentines : pension books clutched in hand they waft towards the handsome young turk waiting ( as he was when they met) to enrich their lives. I feel sorry for them – the waiters not the Shirleys.
And children.. I’ve nothing against children per se. I was one myself once, but the ones on charter flights are a special breed. I think most of them are having a holiday as a reward for getting through the auditions for one of those dreadful ‘reality’ tv shows. The ones about children who are beyond control, featuring parents who clearly shouldn’t be allowed to even bring up a hamster.
The journey starts of course at the airport where you all enter one big queue about 3 miles long. That makes it more fun for the staff I guess. There are normally twice as many men with loud hailers and clipboards organising the queues as there are booking clerks. That cant be an easy job. They have to look at your passport, put a sticker on your case and ask you if you packed your luggage yourself and if anyone gave you anything, to put in it . Bet that stumps Al Quaeda agents. There is more interest for them now though as they get more chance to charge for excess baggage now the allowances are less and you are allowed only one piece of hand luggage , including your handbag,. Because of ‘heightened security’ you have to put your dangerous items – lipstick, mascara, nail polish, perfume, into a clear plastic bag now so they can see them, What are the X-ray machines for then ?; have Chanel perfected a perfume bottle impervious to them ?
You aren’t allowed to be cheeky either; a posse of security men, waiting behind the baggage conveyer, (hey they could do booking in whilst they wait!) are poised ready to drag off anyone suggesting that its all a bit silly really.
In the 19th century intrepid explores carved out the British Empire travelling to far corners of the world. They suffered incredible hardships with stoicism and courage. If charter flights had existed then, there wouldn’t have been an Empire : Even doughty Victorian matrons would have broken down in tears before they got out of duty free (only twice the price) at Gatwick. .
You now have to pay extra for a meal that my cats wouldn’t eat, and they eat anything. You have to specifically say you don’t want the meal, to avoid being charged extra. And of course there are now other extra s - drinks, earphones, scratch cards (why do you need a card to scratch with ?), seats by the exits, the normal luggage allowance, airport taxes , fuel supplements,, airport fuel tax supplements, tips for the pilot and crew, lifejackets etc etc . all provided at extra cost because .. ‘ we are dedicated to helping you enjoy your holiday’ Yeah.
I assume they are working on the premise that the passengers are so enraptured with the treats ahead they will put up with anything. To be fair that may be true. On most flights a large proportion are would-be Shirley Valentines : pension books clutched in hand they waft towards the handsome young turk waiting ( as he was when they met) to enrich their lives. I feel sorry for them – the waiters not the Shirleys.
And children.. I’ve nothing against children per se. I was one myself once, but the ones on charter flights are a special breed. I think most of them are having a holiday as a reward for getting through the auditions for one of those dreadful ‘reality’ tv shows. The ones about children who are beyond control, featuring parents who clearly shouldn’t be allowed to even bring up a hamster.
The journey starts of course at the airport where you all enter one big queue about 3 miles long. That makes it more fun for the staff I guess. There are normally twice as many men with loud hailers and clipboards organising the queues as there are booking clerks. That cant be an easy job. They have to look at your passport, put a sticker on your case and ask you if you packed your luggage yourself and if anyone gave you anything, to put in it . Bet that stumps Al Quaeda agents. There is more interest for them now though as they get more chance to charge for excess baggage now the allowances are less and you are allowed only one piece of hand luggage , including your handbag,. Because of ‘heightened security’ you have to put your dangerous items – lipstick, mascara, nail polish, perfume, into a clear plastic bag now so they can see them, What are the X-ray machines for then ?; have Chanel perfected a perfume bottle impervious to them ?
You aren’t allowed to be cheeky either; a posse of security men, waiting behind the baggage conveyer, (hey they could do booking in whilst they wait!) are poised ready to drag off anyone suggesting that its all a bit silly really.
In the 19th century intrepid explores carved out the British Empire travelling to far corners of the world. They suffered incredible hardships with stoicism and courage. If charter flights had existed then, there wouldn’t have been an Empire : Even doughty Victorian matrons would have broken down in tears before they got out of duty free (only twice the price) at Gatwick. .

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