Hi Ho Hi Ho

I had just finished reading a book called ‘The Book Thief’, and had had to wash the tears off my face, then i got this email –

“HOW THE FIGHT STARTED”

“I drove into the back of another car this morning.

So there we were alongside the road and slowly the driver got out of the car. . .
and you know how, when you get too stressed, that life seems to get funny?

Yes, well, I couldn’t believe it . . . he was a DWARF!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me and said, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, which one are you then?'

.. . . and that's when the fight started . . .”

‘The Book Thief’ is about Germany during the war. It’s narrated by Death. As you will gather it isn’t exactly side splitting stuff, but it is funny as well as painful at times. There are a lot of good books around recently that see the funny side of life even though they are about tragedy. The other afternoon I was on my boat writing some emails when I heard a shout. I jumped and wondered who it was, then realised that my name was being called. The voice didn’t sound panicky, just a bit urgent, Well fairly urgent really, so I ran on deck and looked around. There was just a dwarf standing on the side of the pontoon. Strangely he looked like American John, but John isn’t a dwarf. It WAS American John. He wasn’t standing on the pontoon, he was in the water, just his top bit sticking out as he hung onto the side of the pontoon.
Mm. ‘Strange’ I thought.
I probably asked if he was ok. He clearly wasn’t, why would he willingly jump in the marina in February with his clothes on. But he politely asked me if i could help him out. It was a bit difficult, he is quite big, and the vacuum cleaner he was hanging onto got in the way.
After some heaving we got him out. I had to remove his vacuum cleaner, though. I asked if he would like to come to my boat and take his clothes off, but I guess the shock of being immersed made him shy and he ran off.
I fell in the marina last year, that was in January. The friend who was with me couldn’t stop laughing ..... for days, and when I next met John I am afraid I got the giggles. He was ok, his friend the vacuum cleaner still dripped a bit though.
I think its a pity that news programmes aren’t made to have someone shrieking with laughter after every report of doom and gloom. In England they did once try to have a good news slot after the news at ten. It didn’t last long - journalists don’t do good news. They are far too important and serious to laugh at anything. Bit like politicians and religious leaders. Look at the fuss over a cartoon in Denmark. In Australia of all places they passed a law forbidding the media to poke fun at politicians , and in the middle East they have just banned any comment or criticism of either. Actually of course you don’t need to say anything - politics and religion are the funniest things around. And Dwarves of course, though they don’t scare me as well.