“It is better to travel than to arrive”

Obviously whoever said that had never been on a charter flight for 4 ½ hours.

I cannot understand how the airline concluded that the average passenger is about 12inches wide and doesn’t have any legs. That’s who the seats appear to be designed for. Then when you have wedged yourself into the strangely inhumanly shaped seat you have to endure Jonathon Woss or somebody warbling on about avoiding the sun and foweign food. Didn’t anyone tell them we are flying to Turkey ?

You now have to pay extra for a meal that my cats wouldn’t eat, and they eat anything. You have to specifically say you don’t want the meal, to avoid being charged extra. And of course there are now other extra s - drinks, earphones, scratch cards (why do you need a card to scratch with ?), seats by the exits, the normal luggage allowance, airport taxes , fuel supplements,, airport fuel tax supplements, tips for the pilot and crew, lifejackets etc etc . all provided at extra cost because .. ‘ we are dedicated to helping you enjoy your holiday’ Yeah.

I assume they are working on the premise that the passengers are so enraptured with the treats ahead they will put up with anything. To be fair that may be true. On most flights a large proportion are would-be Shirley Valentines : pension books clutched in hand they waft towards the handsome young turk waiting ( as he was when they met) to enrich their lives. I feel sorry for them – the waiters not the Shirleys.
And children.. I’ve nothing against children per se. I was one myself once, but the ones on charter flights are a special breed. I think most of them are having a holiday as a reward for getting through the auditions for one of those dreadful ‘reality’ tv shows. The ones about children who are beyond control, featuring parents who clearly shouldn’t be allowed to even bring up a hamster.

The journey starts of course at the airport where you all enter one big queue about 3 miles long. That makes it more fun for the staff I guess. There are normally twice as many men with loud hailers and clipboards organising the queues as there are booking clerks. That cant be an easy job. They have to look at your passport, put a sticker on your case and ask you if you packed your luggage yourself and if anyone gave you anything, to put in it . Bet that stumps Al Quaeda agents. There is more interest for them now though as they get more chance to charge for excess baggage now the allowances are less and you are allowed only one piece of hand luggage , including your handbag,. Because of ‘heightened security’ you have to put your dangerous items – lipstick, mascara, nail polish, perfume, into a clear plastic bag now so they can see them, What are the X-ray machines for then ?; have Chanel perfected a perfume bottle impervious to them ?
You aren’t allowed to be cheeky either; a posse of security men, waiting behind the baggage conveyer, (hey they could do booking in whilst they wait!) are poised ready to drag off anyone suggesting that its all a bit silly really.
In the 19th century intrepid explores carved out the British Empire travelling to far corners of the world. They suffered incredible hardships with stoicism and courage. If charter flights had existed then, there wouldn’t have been an Empire : Even doughty Victorian matrons would have broken down in tears before they got out of duty free (only twice the price) at Gatwick. .

A Tail of Two Kitties

I was going as cat woman, everything black except the tail. I had managed to find a suitable piece of rope as the 'spine' but the only material was a tie belt off a nice spotted top, so I was a a spotted black pantherish cat woman. A schizophrenic pussy.
Multi cultured in the modern parlance, and so was the event. A Fashing evening. It's the occasion for Germans to indulge in a pre-fast binge before giving up saurkraut and bratworst for Lent. Probably dates back to pagan times but now its a part of the culture. We were the usual Dalyan mixture, Germans, Brits, Turks and Dutch. The Germans all threw themselves into the spirit of things, made an effort , had great costumes and thoroughly enjoyed the chance to look silly. The Brits mostly tried, but looked a bit embarrassed , the Dutch didn't and sat separately, and the Turks, well they don't need fancy dress to enjoy themselves. So they partied.
I haven’t quite figured out this culture thing . There are differences, traits , which make being with different nationalities interesting. Cultural differences particularly surround any foreigner who comes to live in a different country. some are positive, some are negative and sometimes the phrase is just a convenient excuse for poor behaviour. I recently was used and badly let down by someone who I trusted, and I thought was a good friend. Friends have said it's a cultural thing, They say “It's always happening, 'Wealthy' foreigners are here to be taken advantage of.” Well certainly in any tourist area the visitors are often regarded as fair game, with more money than sense. That happens whether its Bodrum or Blackpool, Bogota or Barcelona. But that isn't a culture thing any more than the loutish behaviour of football hooligans makes yobbism a part of British culture. Culture is often taken to be the traditions and customs that have developed over a long time. It can and should be though, a set of values, and I don't believe that anywhere has values that involve deceit, cheating, hooliganism or violence.
By contrast when I had a puncture last week. I took my car to a little local tyre/car valet place. The young man there called the owner away from his house, late Sunday afternoon, to do the repair. He arrived still chewing the meal he had been called away from. The repair would take an hour, it was chilly so he offered me his scooter so I could go home whilst he worked. His time and trouble cost me about £2.50. In my car were some chairs, I had admired them and Turkish friends had insisted I took them, they were going to get some more anyway they said !
The sorry tales of woe, the antics of yobs , don't spring from culture or race or creed. Some people just aren't very nice, but most are lovely, especially here. Miaaaaow.